Hello friends! As you might have all guessed from the title, I will be writing a letter to me. A couple of days ago I stumbled on Tori Spellings Blog
and read a post in which she gave advice to the 21 years old Tori, and it touched me, mainly because I could relate, I’m sure we all can. I will write to me now and focus on making the future better. So here goes nothing…
I want to start off with a big huge! Im sorry! As I write this I realize that, I’ve never never treated anyone worse than I have you. If you could you would probably have walked away a long time ago. I am sorry because you have endured all sorts of abuse from me – physical, emotional, and verbal…all bad.
Im sorry that I’ve looked at you and cried
Im sorry I’ve seen you as a burden many many times…rather than the blessing you are
Im sorry that from a young age I have used the word HATE to address you
I’m sorry for constantly reminding you of every single “flaw” instead of verbalizing all the amazingness you have
I know it must be difficult for you to understand, after all you were crafted by the living God, made in his image. I constantly forget this. It’s hard to be a girl, history has taught us that it has always been. But most of all I am sorry that it has taken 25 years to admit this and that I will probably continue to do many of the things that I do. I will try to change but I promise that I will mess up again.
God made you the way you are, not with the intent to hurt you or have others poke fun at you. He made you tall, not so others would call you names or bully you but because he knew you would grow to appreciate it and love your height. But I am sure he is hurt every single time you cry because you are not the way you are “supposed” to be. He made you tall and curvaceous for a reason. You will NEVER be really thin…not in a healthy way anyway.
I’m sorry for never thinking you weren’t good enough.
I’m sorry for seeing you as an enemy many many times, rather than the friend you are
I’m sorry for constantly wishing you were smaller – smaller thighs, smaller hips, and a smaller butt
I’m sorry for constantly reminding you that if you were smaller my soul would be happier
But most importantly I’m so sorry that I have never been grateful enough to thank you! You are beautiful and I am so thankful for you. Thank you for letting me push and stretch you during workouts, bike rides, long runs, and wedding days. I’m thankful that you are strong enough to endure the hussle & bussle of my days. Thank you for finding relieve and happiness in cooking and exploring. All of this brings me joy.
It blows my mind that someday (God willing) you will grow and stretch in ways I can’t imagine (don’t be afraid) you will grow a tiny human in you. It will be incredible I’m sure. I will take better care of you and thank you better, because you do so much. You house my soul, dreams, and all of me. I will strive to be proud of you without flaunting you or comparing you to other women. I am happy that I protected you and saved you for the man that I call my husband and I am glad that he has taught me to love you better and see you better.
P.S. Pressing Publish was really really hard…
To be continued…