A year and 24 days ago (whose counting) I married my best friend. I wore a beautiful gown as I walked down the aisle to marry my then-boyfriend of 7 1/2 years. We met almost 9 years ago when we were just in high school. I never thought I would be doing life with him. Let alone that we would be married fresh out of college.
In a society where divorce is the norm, and lavish weddings turn into 72 day marriages, my now-husband and I have strived to go against the norm and build our relationship with our own ideals and intentions. We’ve worked hard to not allow outside factors to influence our relationship and protect our “huppah”. That is not to say that we don’t seek counsel. We do. “The wise man always does.” We have made our relationship and marriage a trio, God, Him, & I. We bring out the best in each other and foster each other’s strengths. (Not to say that we don’t also bring out the worst in each other, it happens) But, it takes real work to maintain this kind of relationship, one that seeks to know, understand, up-lift, and love on one another. I have been following Unveiled Wife on Facebook and her daily post have inspired me to really see my relationship.
- Love God Together. Grow in your walk with God as individuals and as couple. Strive to love on one another the way God loves on us. Without blemish. This can be hard to do specially when we are looking for someone at fault. I fall victim of this all the time. It’s alright. Grace not perfection. 🙂
- Play. Too often, you can become like strangers passing in the night with your spouse or significant other. Intentionally make time to get to know each other. We are two individuals and are constantly growing. Don’t grow into strangers. Grow into friends, lovers, partners in life. Remember you decided to do life with this person. My husband and I are doing life and business together.
- Keep Secrets. We are curious, people are curious . They’ll wonder why you make the decisions that you do and what your relationship is like behind closed doors. Keep them wondering by keeping it behind closed doors. Marriage is sacred and special , so don’t blab to others about the secrets that lie within. Don’t ever speak poorly about your husband to anyone. Mean things are usually said in anger or distress.
- Let’s Get it On! No explanation necessary. This is definitely an important piece of the puzzle, it’s a huge component of a relationship. And if there doesn’t seem to be time for it … make TIME for it! Plan it if you have to!
- Be Health Nuts. Good health is a blessing, take care of it, work on it. Working together to better one anothers’ health will bring you closer. Work out together. Go hiking together. Juice together. Get massages together. Build a healthy beautiful life together. Eat together. Cook at home.
- Who Cares. There will always be those who want to bring you and your relationship down. Unfortunately there are some that hate seeing others happy. Pity them. Pray for them. (I know it’s hard, I sometimes forget to do so) Make it a point to not allow outside factors to influence your relationship.
- Loving words and Respect. It’s easy to let respect go out the door as soon as you get comfortable. Set rules early on by not calling each other names, not bringing each other down, not criticizing, and being respectful. Remember you want to build each other up. His strengths, my strengths, are our strength and our win! At times it’s hard to do, but I believe that this is one of the most if not the most important factor in a good relationship. Nasty words will destroy you, your husband, and each other.
- Money. Find the weaknesses and the strengths in each other. Figure out who is the saver and the spender. Seek councel and learn from others. Create healthy habits right away. Work together towards financial stability and work together through the bumps ahead. Money should not be a stress factor, seldom, or taboo. We all have to deal with it do it together.
We are two people, with different perspectives, we see life differently. He sees life through a lens & see life through food. But we love each other. And to us that is all that matters! xoxo